不想写论文，不想写，还是不想写……

DSCN1494-2

昨儿在彻底的崩溃了一次之后，今天实在挺不住了就逃回家了。自己做了很多很多饭，吃的很撑很撑，这都四个多小时了还是没有消化。

懒懒 的躺在软软的大床上，打开小小的本本。然后连上无线，开始在网上漫游……email、blog……一样一样的都过去了，甚至无聊到把google reader订阅的东西都浏览了一遍，然后又开始无聊的看analytics的数据，开始考虑要不要折腾一下落园了(貌似每半年就开始折腾一下……然后流 量会小小的上升一个级别)。

但是逃不了的，就是明儿就要交的CBA论文，我实在是不想写，还是不想写，一点都不想写。资料都找好了，乖乖的 堆在那里。明儿就要交，不得不写，但是一点都不想动手。上网上了四个多小时，在这个临近考试分秒必争的日子里，真是一件奢侈的事儿。我已经很久没有看 gossip girl，很久没有打游戏，更很久没有做东西了。现在唯一的消遣就是隔三差五的写篇日志，看着落园越来越多的访问量聊以自慰。生活竟然简单如斯，唯一的娱 乐居然只是博客了。

但是还是要写的论文……我宁愿去背经济法，宁愿面对国际经济学让人崩溃的300多页英文，宁愿做中级微观永远搞不明白啥 意思啥逻辑的workshop……但是就是不想写CBA论文和完成短短十分钟的presentation。CBA曾经让我为之倾倒，但是现在却一点都没有 感觉了。要命的是还要写那该死的论文。

冰箱里冰镇的一大桶酸奶实在美味，卧室里暖气热的让人忘记了外面的寒风刺骨。环境这么悠闲，月亮又大又圆，但是为什么，我的心却这么累，这么疲惫。面对考试，面对接下来的一系列已经排到2009年底的事情，我实在崩溃到极致。

我说过不喜欢被动的生活，这半年来的生活已经让我足够的被动了，所以非常不喜欢。但是接下来可预见的一年时间，生活只会更加被动，更加缺乏活力……这绝对不是我所喜欢的生活，绝对不是……可是，无可奈何，只能接受，唯有面对……

不想写的论文，还是要在天亮之前写完。天亮之时，睡饱之后，依旧要为生活而奋斗不息！

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